I Suck
Ok, so I am really sucking at this blogging thing. I meant to get to it, but life has a way of deciding where your time goes. The bands are taking up time, work is taking up time, and there looks to be some big changes coming in that regard. But family life really has me dealing with some stuff right now.
My oldest son, who will turn 18 in a month and a half, has me concerned. Lets just say that having been in the music scene for most of my life has exposed me to certain things. I have been smart enough to stay away from most of it, however; I do occasionally partake in the smoking of the green. I have tried to keep this part of my life completely separate from my family life. Well, eventually that becomes impossible. My soon to be 18 year old seems to try to emulate me. He plays in a band, and generally picks up habits of mine. Very scary! I try to let him know all the mistakes I have made and try to steer him away from them. I let him know all I have an interest in is making sure he is on the path to have a great life.
Thurday night of last week I get home from work. (I work second shift which is really bad for the family life) It has been a bit of a stressful day, I go into my sock drawer where I just happen to have a bit of the earlier mentioned green. I pick it up and notice that it seems considerably lighter than it should! This cant be I think to myself. No way either of my sons would
A) Go into my room
B) Snoop through my stuff
C) Have the gall to actually take some of the earlier mentioned green!
Well you can guess what happened. It was my soon to be 18 year old. How do I handle this without sounding like a hypocrite? Well, I called a family meeting. I decided to come clean to both my sons about some of my bad habits and why they are considered bad habits that they shouldn't follow. It was not an easy conversation, but I think I got my point across as to why the earlier mentioned green is not something that I approve of them doing. I went through the whole gateway drug conversation. I relayed personal stories of friends I knew that went down the wrong path. I think it went well. As for the soon to be 18 year old, well he is punished, not so much for the smoking, but for the going through my belongings and taking something from me. I let him know that a family has to trust one another, and that type of behavior is just something that I wont tolerate. I hope I handled this right. My 16 year claimed to have no idea that I smoked occasionally. Again, I hope I did not make a mistake here.
There is more going on at home than just this. My former fiance, who still lives with us, has not been happy lately. When she is not happy, she makes sure I am not happy. This will end in February when her volunteer job ends. That is when she will move out. Don't get me wrong, we still deeply care about one another, and hope for the best for each others lives. But until February we are kind of stuck in a holding pattern, which means we still act like we are together. It is strange situation, and of course we still argue like we are still together.
As for poker, I have learned that when the family life is not going well, then I shouldn't play. When I am angry about certain aspect of family life, I tend to play on tilt. I get hyper aggressive and do not tolerate someone reraising me. Very stupid and a good way to blow through the bank roll. This is unfortunate because I felt I was playing the best poker I have ever played until things at home started to unravel a bit. I am hoping to recoup the losses from the past week now that things are settling down a bit again. And of course I am hoping to get this blogger thing down and become much more reliable with updates.
My oldest son, who will turn 18 in a month and a half, has me concerned. Lets just say that having been in the music scene for most of my life has exposed me to certain things. I have been smart enough to stay away from most of it, however; I do occasionally partake in the smoking of the green. I have tried to keep this part of my life completely separate from my family life. Well, eventually that becomes impossible. My soon to be 18 year old seems to try to emulate me. He plays in a band, and generally picks up habits of mine. Very scary! I try to let him know all the mistakes I have made and try to steer him away from them. I let him know all I have an interest in is making sure he is on the path to have a great life.
Thurday night of last week I get home from work. (I work second shift which is really bad for the family life) It has been a bit of a stressful day, I go into my sock drawer where I just happen to have a bit of the earlier mentioned green. I pick it up and notice that it seems considerably lighter than it should! This cant be I think to myself. No way either of my sons would
A) Go into my room
B) Snoop through my stuff
C) Have the gall to actually take some of the earlier mentioned green!
Well you can guess what happened. It was my soon to be 18 year old. How do I handle this without sounding like a hypocrite? Well, I called a family meeting. I decided to come clean to both my sons about some of my bad habits and why they are considered bad habits that they shouldn't follow. It was not an easy conversation, but I think I got my point across as to why the earlier mentioned green is not something that I approve of them doing. I went through the whole gateway drug conversation. I relayed personal stories of friends I knew that went down the wrong path. I think it went well. As for the soon to be 18 year old, well he is punished, not so much for the smoking, but for the going through my belongings and taking something from me. I let him know that a family has to trust one another, and that type of behavior is just something that I wont tolerate. I hope I handled this right. My 16 year claimed to have no idea that I smoked occasionally. Again, I hope I did not make a mistake here.
There is more going on at home than just this. My former fiance, who still lives with us, has not been happy lately. When she is not happy, she makes sure I am not happy. This will end in February when her volunteer job ends. That is when she will move out. Don't get me wrong, we still deeply care about one another, and hope for the best for each others lives. But until February we are kind of stuck in a holding pattern, which means we still act like we are together. It is strange situation, and of course we still argue like we are still together.
As for poker, I have learned that when the family life is not going well, then I shouldn't play. When I am angry about certain aspect of family life, I tend to play on tilt. I get hyper aggressive and do not tolerate someone reraising me. Very stupid and a good way to blow through the bank roll. This is unfortunate because I felt I was playing the best poker I have ever played until things at home started to unravel a bit. I am hoping to recoup the losses from the past week now that things are settling down a bit again. And of course I am hoping to get this blogger thing down and become much more reliable with updates.
posted by vegaas @ 4:40 PM
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